Wednesday, August 20, 2008 ++
its quite sick.
these words seem to have lost their values when they're used just to accomodate you.
it has lost its real meaning.
it feels so empty.
so blank.
so hollow.
i rmbed the first time when these words were said to me.
it fills with so much sincerity.
you can feel it immediately.
things seem to have changed.
life is so impermanent.
it does not last. forever. 11:53 PM
Thursday, February 28, 2008 ++
man. its kind of sucking in here.
boohoo.
my blog seems to be a place for me to pour.
there's alot of things running in my mind just now as i walk home.
too many i almost exploded.
i need to tame my thoughts down.
am i even thinking too much? nah...
but i just seems to be in a mess.
suddenly i feel that life's in a mess. how?
i need to get back on track.
i really did change since 2008 started.
im not longer who i use to be.
and i have to return to who i used to be.
i didnt mean to affect people around me.
as in. keeping silent does affect these pple.
haha. guess im really a very noisy one.
whenever im silent, pple start asking me if im fine.
hahaha.
for this. im afraid i may walk into someone's path.
karma will befall.
i know that.
it is difficult to put on a smiley face when u're not in the right state of mind.
but sometimes, i think it is necessary to give a smile so that pple arent affected.
appearent my art of covering up is not there at all.
afjhnalriuhnawio 7:07 PM
Sunday, December 30, 2007 ++
anti-weibin software uploaded 1:01 AM
Tuesday, December 18, 2007 ++
hello!
im back from india!
whoa.
its a very eye-opening experience indeed.
you'll never get to see any sight of those in spore.
not even in little india.
haha.
yeah. i went to the rural areas of india.
there's 4 main places that i travel to.
lumbini(nepal), where siddhartha(buddha) was born.
bodhgaya, where siddhartha got enlightenment and became buddha.
sarnath, where buddha preached his first sermon.
kushinager, where buddha attain nirvana(died).
on the way, we also visited places where buddha's stupa was built, the palace he used to live in, places where he used to stayed at for a period of time to preach.
sadly. all these that we visited are all excuvated by the archeologist.
and they're all destroyed by the muslims last time when india was once dominated by them.
so we only see small, destroyed parts that were dugged up,
so we have to use alot of our imagination.
went to their archeologist musuem too.
damn interesting. haha.
also, we went to the ganges river, varanasi.
wah.. this river ah. dirty seh.
haha. however, it is a very holy river to the hindu.
therefore, the hindus will bath, wash clothes, and even cremate dead bodies there.
all at the same ganges river, jus different parts of it.
as in they separate into different segment for different purpose.
but still. water flows, pple litter. and hence, very polluted.
hahaha. i saw men in their G-STRING. damn funny.
somemore the weather is so so cold in the morning.
wonder how this pple can tahan. hahahaha.
and they wash their clothes but smacking it against the rock.
the place where pple cremate bodies is more cool. haha.
they have 2 place for it. 1 for commoners, another one for the more special pple.
its jus one wide space, with piles and piles of black black things.... yeah.
and fire..
our guide says that their ashes will be freed into the river................
see? the river ah... not clean. hahahahahaha!
okay. hindu believe that if the askes is freed into the river, their soul will be freed. and thats the end of their suffering.
okay. i'll continue next time. haha. 11:49 AM
Wednesday, December 05, 2007 ++
back from sarawak! its super fun.
and im missing all the peeps there.
going to india soon this coming thursday.
i dislike packing so much.
its such a chore.
im not really in the mood for india.
still haven recover from the sarawak spur.
hahaha.
now that there is a sarawak-aftermath spur,
i have to leave to india.
gonna miss all these man.
hahahahaha.
perhaps things would change after im back.
sian....
back to packing now.
again. :( 12:33 AM
Sunday, November 25, 2007 ++
RANDOM
hello.
haha. im finally back.
again.
had been going out recently.
idling around, wasting my time away as if i really have nth better to do.
although i know that this is the best time for revision.
but its such a turnoff.
textbooks are boring!
they make me sleepy.
going sarawak this coming tuesday!
i was excited for it initially.
but as the date gets nearer and nearer, i tend to feel sian.
with all the packings and stuff,
imagining the tiredness and how the environment such as toilets, lodges etc will be like makes me very more sian.
lol.
but i guess i'll still have fun.
self-entertainment is what im best at.
eh my friends.
sometimes when im pissed.
pls dun stupidly thinks that she'll get better very soon(although its true)
and can jus leave me alone to sulk there.
shld continue to irritate me and make me laugh.
okay maybe not too much of irritate.
but make me laugh works alot.
jus do stupid things.
i'll laugh.
at you.
lol.
okay?
and im always ps-ed by people these days.
i wonder is it karma.
cos i used to be so occupied by many stuff and always reject my friends call to go out and have fun.
now i seems to be the one asking pple out and get ps the very last moment.
and it happened quite afew times.
my cute little heart can be fragile at times u know.
HAHA.
i've made a very wise choice.
and seems like it works out pretty well.
although its always me and only me doing such stuff.
but whatever.
shouldnt be a problem.
im staying at a neutral stand.
haha. so protect myself at the same time.
happy birthday zy. 1:59 AM
Wednesday, October 24, 2007 ++
i dislike.
sometimes i feel that my life's sad.
subconscientiously, i seems to not know who i am.
i mean.
its just like..
i have alot of friends. but i dont have friends.
just a very contradicting feelings.
i feel like a loner deep within.
i seems to be shutting myself up or shutting people off.
life is tough.
to handle it well is a form of art.
complex and complicated.
im not an artist.
to pause for a moment in life,
observing things that are happening around you.
you seems to be able to see things more thoroughly.
u may smile.
u may hesitate.
u may feel puzzled/confused
u may just back off
is it good or is it bad.
i dont know.
some human beings are like an untouched rotten apple.
u appear norm, pretty and nice.
but the hidden fact is.
you're rotten within.
yes.
im in the list.
i think im back to a state of confusion.
i'll go look for answers again.
meanwhile.
im gonna stay as a quiet girl.
and i shall ignore... 9:56 PM
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